


Can't Help Myself

by baeconandeggs



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 10:50:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6800707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>chanyeol thinks there's something with lu han's intern's smile</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Help Myself

**Author's Note:**

> I've always liked hospital aus, so I hope you'll like this! I'm not a medical major or something so if I have wrong terminologies or such, please let me know! :D

The train back to the hospital is really tiring for Chanyeol. He has to stand up the entire trip, his hand tightly gripping on the handrail to keep himself from collapsing. He never really got a nice vacation (it was only three days and he could hardly call it a vacation) and even though he slept the entire duration of his days-off, he thinks he still needs an additional twenty years' worth of sleep.

He bobs his head to the music playing on his ears, while being observant of his surroundings. Emergency situations have been a common occurrence to him that it becomes a habit to observe the people around. There was a time when he was going to the convenience store to buy instant noodles and energy drinks and the next thing he knew, he saved a hit-and-run victim on the street. One time, he helped a woman give birth while they were on the bus. The woman even named her newborn baby boy after him. There were too many incidents that he couldn't recall everything. It's not a big deal for him, though. He's more than willing to help since saving people's lives is a part of his profession.

The train door opens and more people come inside, and it becomes hotter, too difficult for Chanyeol to breathe properly. There is a body crushing him against the pole, and he winces as he knocks his head on the metal. He rubs his sore forehead and looks behind him just to see a black-haired boy a few inches shorter than him, trying to keep himself up as his hand can't find anything to hold on.

"Hold my arm." He says, and the boy looks up to give him a curious look. Well, he's not really a boy, Chanyeol realizes. Maybe he's just a few years younger than him. He looks tired too, just like him, the lines on his forehead and the tiny bags below his eyes say so. "I said hold my arm."

The stranger hesitates for a moment before lifting his hand and he grips on the sleeve of Chanyeol's long coat. He's not really holding on his arm, but Chanyeol doesn't push him anymore. Though he can hear the soft 'thanks' from him and nothing more.

When the train reaches his stop after ten minutes, Chanyeol feels the hand holding his coat sleeve loosens and when he looks behind him again, the man is already pushing his way into the crowd. Chanyeol shrugs, and steps on the platform. The walk going to Shinhwa University Hospital is short so Chanyeol reaches the entrance in no time.

"Doctor Park!" Soojung, one of the nurses on the desk greets him, and Chanyeol smiles in return. "How's your three-day vacation?"

"It's good. Thanks for asking." He lies, but he thinks Soojung already knows. He excuses himself and proceeds to his room, but as he approaches the hallways going to the staff rooms, he hears a familiar voice scolding someone.

Lu Han doesn't shout and they're at the end of the hallway so he can't really hear what he's saying, but the icy looks he's giving the poor intern is terrifying. Chanyeol remembers that today's the first day of their new interns and maybe one of them is late. Lu Han has been really strict with punctuality ever since. He decides to greet his friend later when he calms down.

The room smells of disinfectant and Chanyeol scrunches his nose. He doesn't really like the smell of it. He throws his duffel bag on his bed (it is a hospital bed and the mattress is quite uncomfortable for him) and takes out his freshly laundered lab coats and wears one. He can change into scrubs later.

***

Upon seeing the second year residents frantically running around the hospital, helping the paramedic move a patient from the stretcher to the hospital bed, Chanyeol remembers his days as an intern. Several images flash on his mind. It was a mix of adrenaline rush, sweat, sleepless nights, tears, curses and even blood. He remembers when he did his first cut. He was shaking, and his superior was watching him expectantly. He remembers the very first patient who died in front of him, during his general surgery residency, a grandmother who suffered from heart attack. He remembers crying on the corner near the fire exit, asking himself if it would be the same scene he is going to witness every day.

Chanyeol approaches the unconscious patient, asking the residents what happened, and finds out that there is a car accident few blocks from the hospital. He watches the residents do their job, and even though he’s not their superior, he has to check if they’re doing it properly. He leaves when he sees another doctor leading the team.

Now he’s very much used to the life inside the hospital, has already sacrificed everything in the name of his profession, but he never regretted anything. Seeing those smiles from his patients makes his day, and it makes him want to help more, to offer what he has to offer.

Chanyeol is taken out from his thoughts when he sees Lu Han walking along the hallway going to his office, talking to the nurse following him behind.

"Professor Lu!" Chanyeol calls. He waves his hand when Lu Han turns around and smiles at him. He winks at the nurse playfully and she blushes. "How are you?"

"Nothing changed." Lu Han answers, and he dismisses the nurse. "Except that I'm supervising a new set of residents."

Chanyeol drapes his arm around Lu Han's shoulders. "Hey, residents who were under your supervision learned a lot from you. That's why the big bosses trust you a lot."

"You can have your own team, you know that." Lu Han pouts. Exhaustion can be clearly seen on Lu Han's face, as he works 24/7 while doing his research. And now he has to handle three interns.

"I don't think I'm ready yet." Chanyeol sighs. He just finished his cardiothoracic residency two years ago, and truth to be told he was offered to take care of new interns, but he rejected. He passed the responsibility to Minseok, the second head of their department and Lu Han's husband. "Next year, it depends."

"Speaking of," Lu Han stops walking, and faces Chanyeol. "I'll send you one of my interns to assist you on Yoon Heebin's upcoming surgery. He’s specializing in cardiology, so it’s for his experience."

Chanyeol's face brightens, and he shakes Lu Han excitedly. "Really? Oh my god thank you Han! I'm really lucky to -"

"But," Lu Han cuts him off, poking his forehead with his index finger. "You're not going to order him around unless it's related to Heebin. I'm still his supervisor and he's still going to report to me about the kid's condition."

"But I can ask him to buy me my favorite juice?"

"No."

"Professor Lu. It's just a drink. I'm not going to ask him anything except for that."

"No. Interns are not meant for that." Lu Han shakes his head. Chanyeol juts out his bottom lip, maybe that will make Lu Han change his mind. But the professor just shrugs. "Or else I'll take him back."

"Professor Lu!" He whines when Lu Han leaves him on the hallways, and he stomps his feet on the tiled floor, defeated.

***

"Doctor Oh."

"Professor Lu told me not to take any orders from you unless it's related to Heebin."

Chanyeol groans, knocking his forehead on the table. He's too tired and lazy to even get up and get the coffee himself. So he's convincing Oh Sehun, the intern Lu Han sent to him, to buy him coffee. But the intern is stubborn (more stubborn than Lu Han as a matter of fact) and even if he has already reassured him for countless of times that it will be the first and last, Sehun still refuses to obey.

It's almost midnight and it’s one of those rare times where he wants to sleep, but he can't because he has to check up on Yoon Heebin who is peacefully sleeping on the hospital bed in front of them. Her surgery is scheduled next week, and they're avoiding her from all possible complications before the operation. He advised her parents to rest for a while, since they've been watching over her all day and he volunteered to take a look on her for the meantime. Sehun's accompanying him, typing on his laptop. What's he typing about, Chanyeol doesn't know. He doesn't really care, anyway.

Chanyeol lifts his head, maybe he can lighten up the mood in Heebin's room with some of his doctor doctor jokes that he likes to tell the nurses. And maybe Sehun will finally buy him coffee because he made him laugh. He grins at Sehun, who doesn't even spare a glance at him. "Hey Doctor Oh."

"What is it, Doctor Park." Sehun deadpans. "If it is about the coffee, the answer is still the same."

"No!" Chanyeol whispers hoarsely, leaning forward. "I'm going to tell you a story."

"Don't even start me with your ghost stories, it won't even scare me a bit."

"For an intern, you're a little disrespectful."

"Because Professor Lu said I should be." Sehun replies casually. Chanyeol furrows his eyebrows. "Towards you."

Chanyeol scoffs, and he’s amused with Sehun’s brashness. But he’s not offended one bit. As a matter of fact, he’s quite pleased with the young intern’s obedience towards his professor. Oh Sehun will definitely reach places, he's sure of that. He's very much like Lu Han of more than ten years ago. He clears his throat. "But listen first. This is not a ghost story. There was this patient who went to the doctor. He told the doctor that he kept on thinking that he's a pair of curtains. What do you think the doctor told him?"

Sehun just looks at him, trying to look interested (though he fails), so Chanyeol takes it as his cue to continue. He grins toothily.

"The doctor said 'Pull yourself together!'" He barks out a laugh but covers his mouth because Heebin is sleeping and Sehun is (kind of) glaring at him. "Do you get it? Pull yourself together? Curtains? Do you?"

"I think you need to sleep." Sehun sighs obnoxiously like he has given up on Chanyeol and goes back to his laptop, ignoring him for good. “I don’t even know why I’m here.”

"You're no fun." Chanyeol stands up, stuffing his hands on his coat pockets. He's going out because he really needs coffee and Sehun won't pay attention to him anymore. He lost the unannounced war between him and Sehun. But before he opens the door he turns around to look at the intern. "Do you want coffee?"

***

More than a week has passed since the interns came and Chanyeol finds it odd. From what he knows Lu Han handles three interns, but he only met Sehun and Jongin (the pouty kid from oncology). He hasn't met the other one yet, hasn’t seen him in the doctors’ lounge. 

"Nurse Bae." Chanyeol rests his arm on the nurse desk, watching as Joohyun writes something on her clipboard. Joohyun hums in response, eyes still focused on her clipboard. "Doctor Lu has three interns, right?"

Joohyun nods. "Why?"

"Where's the other one? I only know Doctor Oh and Doctor Kim."

"Ah." Joohyun finally looks up and gives Chanyeol her full attention. "Doctor Byun. He's the other intern. He's always at the kids' ward. I only see him during meal breaks or when he needs something from us. He's really cute, you know? Even Head Nurse Park likes him."

He doesn’t need to know the second last statements, but he hums interestingly. "Oh really? I see."

***

“Doctor Park.”

"Doctor Oh, please take Heebin for chest x-ray. I've already informed radiology." Chanyeol says, still focused at the photos of Heebin's previous x-ray on his tablet. "You're going to explain to me later the results –"

"Doctor Park, Professor Lu said he's going to replace me with Doctor Byun."

Chanyeol stops walking, and looks up from his tablet to Sehun. The intern doesn’t look like he’s joking. "Wait, what? Doctor Byun? The other intern?"

Sehun looks like he's going to say, 'well yeah obviously, duhhh' but he controls himself before he can blurt it out loud. "Yes, the other intern. I’m not really specializing for cardiology. Professor Lu mistook it. He was too preoccupied when he was checking our records so I kinda understand him.” He says instead. "Don't worry, I'm still taking Heebin to radiology then Doctor Byun will do the rest."

Chanyeol's mind goes blank. He has already hung out with Sehun (Chanyeol believes they're more than acquaintances by now, as for Sehun...he doesn't know) and the sudden replacement disappoints him. Why didn't Lu Han inform him first?

"I gave Heebin's records to Doctor Byun. He's pretty quick to catch up, trust me."

"Is that fine with you? I mean someone replacing you?" Chanyeol asks. He is sure he can see the disappointment on Sehun's face, but he doesn't say it to the young intern. Sehun seems like the person who hates stating the obvious.

"It's okay. Professor Lu moved me to emergency, so yeah, it's fine. If you need help, don't hesistate to ask me."

Chanyeol surrenders, patting Sehun's shoulder. "Thank you for assisting me with Heebin, even if it was just for a few days. It was nice working with you."

"Nice working with you too, Doctor Park. I'll see you around." He bows slightly, before dismissing himself. Chanyeol sighs as he sees Sehun go, turning around to proceed on walking back to his room.

But before he proceeds to his room, he decides that he should pass by the kids’ ward. It has been weeks since he last saw the kids, as he is quite busy with Heebin’s upcoming operation. He’s also starting on his research to be submitted next year for an international conference. It is a little bit noisy, with kids rambling and laughing. When he peeks at the glass window, there he sees someone, wearing the same uniform as him, leaning down to ruffle a girl’s hair. The doctor is smiling sweetly, his eyes crinkling as the girl – he recognizes her as Yejin – giggles. He’s familiar, but Chanyeol doesn’t know when and where he saw him. He’s perfectly sure that this is the first time he sees him in the hospital. Maybe this is Doctor Byun Nurse Bae is talking about?

Chanyeol leans on the wall, watching as the doctor walk around the ward and talk to the other kids. If this is the doctor who is going to replace Doctor Oh as his assistant, then…

He pushes himself off the wall when Yejin suddenly points at him, saying something that Chanyeol can’t comprehend. The doctor inside the ward turns around and looks at him, surprised for a second before acknowledging him with a smile. Chanyeol steps inside the ward, waving at the kids who are calling him.

“Doctor Frank! Doctor Frank!”

Chanyeol chuckles as Hyunwoo runs towards him, hugging his leg. “How have you been, Hyunwoo?”

“I’m okay, Doctor Frank. We miss you. Where have you been?” the little boy asks. Chanyeol kneels down to meet him in his eyes. “We’ve been waiting for you to visit us.”

“Sorry about that.” Chanyeol smiles apologetically. He should have bought some bread from the canteen. “But I’ve been busy taking care of Heebin. You want her to be healthy, right?”

“Right! I want Heebin to be healthy!” Hyunwoo agrees, lifting up his two arms. Chanyeol mouths ‘wooo’ while waving the kid’s arms. “But Doctor Baek has been with us so we’re not lonely here!”

“Doctor Baek?” Chanyeol looks up to see the doctor looming awkwardly in front of him. So this is not Doctor Byun? He stands up, offering his hand. “Hello, you must be Doctor Baek?”

“Uh, yes? I’m Byun Baekhyun. I’m one of the new interns here.” he says, and Chanyeol is then hit by a sudden realization that this is indeed Doctor Byun he is going to work with. He’s kind of embarrassed that he called him by his nickname, assuming that it is his surname. Doctor Byun might mistake him as impolite. But then Doctor Byun accepts his hand for a handshake, though he looks like he’s confused. “Nice to meet you, Doctor Frank.”

Chanyeol eyes widen, then he stifles a laugh as they’re both mistaking each other’s names. So much for their first meeting. “Don’t be mistaken. I’m Park Chanyeol. Doctor Frank is just a short name for Doctor Frankenstein. Kids like to call me that because of my height.”

“Oh god, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” Doctor Byun bows his head twice, then covers his face with his hands. “I heard you talking to Hyunwoo about Heebin and I was really confused because Professor Lu told me I’ll be working with Doctor Park Chanyeol.”

“That’s me.” Chanyeol points at himself. He looks down just to see Hyunwoo watching the two of them making a fool out of themselves. The other kids in the ward are also watching them. He turns a deep shade of red, and he is sure that’s because of the awkward meeting, not because Doctor Byun looks so cute while flustered. “I guess we’ll be working together for a week.”

Doctor Byun nods, now recovered from the embarrassment. “Yes. I’m looking forward to learn a lot from you.”

“Don’t expect too much.” he jokes. Doctor Byun just smiles at him. “Yes, I’m going to make sure that you’ll learn something from me. Let’s work hard.”

***

If Chanyeol is going to be honest, he can say that he likes Doctor Byun more than Doctor Oh. Baekhyun is as attentive and punctual as Sehun, but what made Chanyeol like him more is that he buys him his favorite orange juice. Chanyeol doesn’t tell him to, but Baekhyun always makes sure that he will leave one on his desk every mealtime. Chanyeol once gave him money for those (three bottles of juice everyday may cost a lot and Baekhyun is just an intern) but the intern refused, telling him he isn’t asking for money. It’s like a ‘gift of gratitude’.

Like today. Chanyeol smiles as he picks up the bottle of juice from his worktable and twists the cap open. He downs half of it in one go, and returns the cap. In a few hours will be Heebin’s surgery. He needs enough energy and sleep for the four hour operation. But being in the hospital for more than five years makes him restless, only asking for sleep when he really needs it.

Chanyeol goes to Heebin’s room, and there he sees the little girl’s mother, who is watching her daughter and Baekhyun with a smile. Baekhyun is sitting on the edge of the bed, talking to Heebin animatedly.

“… the prince held out his hand, asking the princess if she wants to come with him. What do you think the princess will do?”

“The princess will take his hand?”

“You’re right, Heebin-ah.” Baekhyun’s voice is soft and careful. “The princess said she will go wherever he wants to take her to.”

“They’ve been talking for almost an hour now.” Heebin’s mother says when Chanyeol sits beside her. “Heebin likes him so much.”

“I noticed.” Chanyeol says. Heebin’s full attention is on Baekhyun, listening to the story the doctor is telling her. “All the kids in the ward like him.”

The two still don’t notice him there, sitting on the couch behind them, so he just watches them silently, hiding a laugh whenever Baekhyun scrunches his face just to emphasize his words. They look cute together, and Heebin doesn’t even look like she’s suffering from a heart problem with the way she smiles from ear to ear.

“They’re living far, far, far, far away from the castle, but they’re contented with their simple life, together with their children. They live happily ever after.”

Chanyeol accidentally lets out a noise, and the two, also Heebin’s mother, turn around to look at him. He clears his throat and lifts his hand, greeting Heebin. Baekhyun stands up after excusing himself from Heebin.

“Do you need me for something, Doctor Park?” Baekhyun asks, ducking his head a bit to meet Chanyeol’s eyes.

“Oh! Nothing. I just wanted to pay Heebin a visit. Continue with your storytelling session.”

“We just finished. I’ll just go to the kids’ ward.” Baekhyun says. He pats Heebin’s head, and Chanyeol notices that the intern said something to Heebin before stepping back and leaving the room.

Chanyeol says goodbye to Heebin and her mother, and follows Baekhyun out. He walks just beside Baekhyun, his arms on his back. The intern doesn’t seem to notice him.

“How is Heebin as a kid?”

Baekhyun jerks in surprise, clutching his tablet closer to his chest. He stops walking. “What did you say, Doctor Park?”

“I just asked you how Heebin is as a kid.” Chanyeol repeats, looking at Baekhyun. The intern is a head shorter than him, and Chanyeol is sure he is really familiar. He still doesn’t remember. “You seem to be very close to her.”

“She’s very sweet, and she doesn’t even look like she’s suffering from something.” Baekhyun answers. “She’s smart too, and speaks like she’s not seven years old.”

“That is what I also think.” Chanyeol says. “But she takes a long time to get close to everyone, the kids on the ward, even to me.” With that, they both resume on walking. “I wonder what you did to her.”

“Maybe I have irresistible charms?” the way Baekhyun says it very innocently makes Chanyeol wants to agree. He fake-coughs because, god, he didn’t just think of that. Baekhyun charming all the kids in the ward. Baekhyun charming Heebin. Baekhyun charming Chanyeol. Baekhyun is staring at him, eyes blinking and Chanyeol pats his chest to calm himself down. “Is there something wrong, Doctor Park? Are you okay?”

“Ah, yes. I’m okay.” Chanyeol says, finally recovered from the mental images of Baekhyun – okay, stop. “It’s good that you’re really close with children. It is needed for the job.” they reach the kids’ ward. “I mean, some of the kids here were really afraid of me because I’m really tall, and they somehow found it really intimidating. But I tried talking to them a lot of times until they got comfortable with me.”

“At least the kids are now comfortable with you.” Baekhyun says, opening the door. He has already reached the middle of the room when he turns around and sees the Chanyeol didn’t follow him there. “Aren’t you going inside, Doctor Park?”

“No, I have to go somewhere. See you around.” Chanyeol closes the door, but he doesn’t leave. He stays there behind the door, watching how Baekhyun interacts with children by the window. Maybe he can learn how to deal with kids better by observing him.

But in some way, unintentionally, he’s more focused on Baekhyun’s smiling face. 

***

Chanyeol is busy scrubbing his forearms and hands, getting ready for the operation when he hears footsteps behind him. He turns his head a little bit, and there he sees Doctor Byun standing awkwardly few feet away from him.

“Doctor Byun?” Chanyeol goes back to sanitizing himself. “Is there something you need?”

“Uhm,” Baekhyun starts. “Is Heebin going to be okay?”

As soon as Baekhyun finishes his question, Chanyeol has already finished rinsing. With arms raised chest-level, he finally turns around.

“You know that she has more than sixty percent chance of surviving after this surgery.” Chanyeol says. “I trust Heebin that she will live after this. You trust her too, right?”

Baekhyun nods. “Yes, I trust her.” Then he bows at Chanyeol sheepishly. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, Doctor Park. Please take care of Heebin.”

“I will, Doctor Byun. Don’t worry.”

Before the operating room door closes, the last thing Chanyeol sees is the hopeful smile in Baekhyun’s lips.

***

Chanyeol looks up to meet Kyungsoo’s eyes, and the latter turns around to look at the monitor.

“All is normal. The operation is a success.” Kyungsoo announces. Chanyeol lets out a breath of relief. There had been panic mid-surgery, when Heebin’s blood pressure dropped and her heart rate pattern became alarming. Chanyeol’s own heart almost missed a beat – despite of experiencing this too many times – as he tried to save Heebin from imminent danger.

“Thank you for your hard work everyone.” he says. His words are muffled by his mask, but everyone understands him. “You can finish this up, right?” he asks Jaehyun, Minseok’s intern.

“Yes. Thank you, Doctor Park. We learned a lot from you.” Jaehyun says. Chanyeol nods, and leans down to Heebin, who is still in a deep sleep.

“You made it, Heebin-ah. We’re proud of you.” he whispers.

Chanyeol removes his surgical gown and gloves for disposal, and opens the door. But he steps back in surprise when he sees Doctor Byun sitting on one of the long chairs along the hallway, his head hanging low, When Chanyeol approaches him with careful steps, he realizes that the intern is sleeping. Baekhyun is snoring softly, and Chanyeol finds it really cute because he looks like a stray puppy. He shakes his head in amusement before going to the sink to clean himself.

Even when he has already finished cleaning up, Baekhyun is still sleeping. The door to the operating room opens, revealing Kyungsoo. The anesthesiologist also sees Baekhyun sleeping peacefully, and is about to wake him up when Chanyeol puts a hand on his shoulder, and lifts his index finger to his lips. Upon realizing, Kyungsoo shrugs, grinning, before leaving them.

Chanyeol sits beside Baekhyun, crossing his legs. His hand hovers on Baekhyun’s shoulder to wake him up, but the sudden noise coming from the door of the operating room jolts Baekhyun awake. Chanyeol abruptly hides his hand behind him, silently cursing at himself because he looks ridiculous. The assisting nurses walk the other way, so it also saves him from further embarrassment.

“Doctor Park?” Baekhyun mumbles, closing his eyes and opening it again, just to have a clearer view of him.

“You fell asleep?” Chanyeol asks. He regains his composure, and he tilts his head to scrutinize Baekhyun. “You’ve been here since the start of the operation? Does Professor Lu know this?”

Baekhyun’s eyes widen, waving his hands frantically in front of Chanyeol’s face. He’s panicking. “No, no! I did my rounds!” he looks down at his watch, then to his pager. “I just came here an hour ago and I didn’t know that I fell asleep. I’m sorry, Doctor Park.”

“It’s okay.” Chanyeol stands up. Baekhyun follows, dusting invisible lint from his scrubs. The intern clears his throat, catching his attention.

“Uh, is Heebin okay?” he asks, hesitantly.

He looks very worried, the creases on his forehead say so. To make him not worry anymore, Chanyeol nods at him, smiling. “Yes. She’ll come out after a few. You want to help bring her to PACU?”

Baekhyun lets out a breath like Chanyeol did inside the operating room several minutes ago. “Sure. I’ll just call her parents.” Baekhyun says, and before he leaves, he bows deeply at Chanyeol again. “Thank you for taking care of Heebin, Doctor Park.”

“You’ve worked hard, too.” Chanyeol pats Baekhyun’s shoulder. Heat creeps up his cheeks for a reason he doesn’t know and he hopes the intern doesn’t notice it. “Thank you for your help, Doctor Byun.” he says. “And also, call me sunbae.”

Baekhyun looks up at him and chuckles. Chanyeol is stunned for a while – maybe because he’s too sleepy – before the intern speaks again. “Yes, Chanyeol sunbae.”

His name rolls off Baekhyun’s tongue easily and it soothes Chanyeol, his weariness quickly fading away. He wants Baekhyun to repeat it again.

But Baekhyun is already walking away from him, to inform Heebin’s parents who are waiting on their room. Next time, he tells himself.

***

After a week will be Heebin's discharge. Baekhyun has been taking care of Heebin ever since her first day of recovery, has been compliant on everything the little girl needs. He also gives daily reports to Chanyeol and Lu Han, details complete and accurate.

It's three in the afternoon and Lu Han visits Heebin, sitting down on the chair beside the bed. Baekhyun stands behind Lu Han, while Chanyeol leans on the doorway.

"How are you feeling, Heebin-ah?" Lu Han asks, his hand reaches up to touch her cheek.

"It doesn't hurt anymore, ahjussi." Heebin answers, her bottom lip jutting out. She opens up really quickly at Lu Han, which makes Chanyeol more envious. How do people with angelic faces attract kids that easily? "I have this big scar in my chest, and Baekhyun oppa said Doctor Frank fixed my heart so that I will be healthier."

"That's true, little girl." Lu Han says. "Have you already said 'thank you' to Doctor Frank?"

Heebin nods. Chanyeol remembers it well, a few days after Heebin woke up after her surgery. It was midnight, he was adjusting the IV drop when the girl suddenly spoke. Everyone was asleep, and he just entered Heebin's room to check up on her.

"Thank you, Doctor Frank." The girl suddenly held Chanyeol's hand, squeezing it lightly. Chanyeol sat on the side of her bed. "Baekhyun oppa said you fixed my heart, so I should thank you."

It feels like Chanyeol’s heart is being squeezed by Heebin’s words. "You're always welcome, Heebin-ah."

Lu Han drags him out of the room, leaving Baekhyun inside. Chanyeol looks at the window, catching the intern's eyes before following Lu Han.

"How is working with Baekhyun?" Lu Han asks, stopping in front of the vending machine. He slips two bills in the slot and picks milk for the both of them. "Heebin is going to be discharged next week."

Chanyeol accepts the carton and sits on one of the chairs beside the machine. Lu Han sits beside him. "Well, he's very hardworking. He knows what he's doing. I don't even have to tell him everything he's going to do. He just needs my go signal. He's a very fast learner too; he always has his notes on his hand and jots down everything. And even though he's busy taking care of Heebin, he still checks up on the kids' ward." He says. Lu Han listens while sipping on his milk. "I don't think he even sleeps. He has this very big eyebags and he looks tired but he's still smiling, and – why are you looking at me like that?"

"Oh? Nothing." Lu Han shakes his head, grinning. They've been together for years that he's certain that the professor is lying. "It’s just that you have hearts in your eyes while you’re talking, Nothing much."

Lu Han is still smiling weirdly at him when he finally leaves to go to Minseok's office.

"Weirdo.” Chanyeol mumbles, before consuming his milk and throwing the carton on the nearest bin.

***

"Bye, Doctor Frank." Heebin waves her hand, her Little Mermaid bag hanging on her elbow.

"See you soon, Heebin-ah." Chanyeol says, but when he realizes that the kid might misundertand him, he shakes his head. "No, I mean, not here. Maybe we see each other in the mall, like that. And you still have to go here for your check-ups."

Heebin is staring at him, looking unamused, then her mother chuckles. "Let's go, Heebin-ah."

Before following her mother, Heebin looks behind Chanyeol. She points at something - no, at someone. It's Baekhyun, when Chanyeol turns around to look. The intern is hugging his clipboard while walking towards them. When Chanyeol asked him earlier if he's going with him to see Heebin out, Baekhyun just shook his head, mumbling something Chanyeol didn't understand before leaving him in the hallway.

As soon as Baekhyun stops just beside Chanyeol, Heebin motions for them to kneel down in front of her. Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun, and the latter has already hidden half of his face behind his clipboard. He can't even see his eyes clearly. When Baekhyun kneels down, he follows and shifts his attention back to Heebin. The little girl then spreads her arms and wraps it around them as possible as she can.

"Thank you." She says, and Chanyeol almost breaks down. He blinks, as his eyes become watery. He doesn't want to cry in front of a kid. Heebin isn't even crying. He pats Heebin's back lightly, then he hears a sniffle. He's sure it's not him. And most definitely it is not Heebin.

When Heebin pulls away, Baekhyun stands up, wiping his face with the sleeve of his labcoat.

"I will miss you, Heebin. Bye." Baekhyun says it very quickly, and his voice is wobbly. He never speaks again until Heebin leaves and is out of their sight.

Chanyeol almost cried, but he's certain the doctor beside him is silently crying. He wants to tell him that it's going to be okay, but he still doesn't know how to comfort a person, even though he's been dealing with people for years, telling them that their loved one is getting worse. They would cry in front of him, even blame him. Still, Chanyeol doesn't know how to pick the right words to say. He takes a deep breath, and puts his hand on Baekhyun's shoulder. This, he thinks, is what he can do.

"Do you want to eat? My treat."

"I'm not hungry, Doctor Park." Baekhyun answers quietly. "I'm going back to the ward."

"Doctor Byun."

Chanyeol doesn't know why he did that. He just asked him if he wanted to eat, and now he's holding on Baekhyun's wrist, as if like he's begging. But he is, now.

"Please?"

Baekhyun stares at his hand which is still wrapped around his wrist, then he sighs in defeat. 

"Okay."

Chanyeol drops his hand, and smiles encouragingly. "Come on."

Baekhyun has been quiet on their way to the cafe and Chanyeol understands him. Separating with the person you've been with for a very long time is indeed hard. He understands.

***

"Mrs. Cho's galbitang is the best, don't you think?" Chanyeol asks. A little conversation with Baekhyun might let the latter forget about Heebin for a while.

"I guess." Baekhyun says. "This is my first time eating this."

"What?" Chanyeol puts his chopsticks beside his bowl and looks at Baekhyun. "You've been here for more than a month and you haven't eaten this," his two hands points at his bowl. "This deliciously cooked galbitang by Mrs. Cho? This has been a part of the menu for years."

"I don't know. I only eat samgak-kimbap, kimchi, sometimes just bread and biscuits." Baekhyun says.

"Seriously?" Chanyeol asks incredulously, his food now forgotten because of Baekhyun's admission that he doesn't eat decent meals. "So you're also the culprit for those stacked empty ramyun cups in the doctors' lounge?"

It was only made-up, but Baekhyun stares at him in shock, and shakes his head to defend himself. "I'm throwing mine on the trash bin near the stairs!"

"Okay." Chanyeol frowns. He doesn't even know where Baekhyun gets his ramyun, because the canteen doesn't sell it. He might be going out to the convenience store, or he has some on his luggage, Chanyeol doesn't care anymore. He then pushes his bowl to Baekhyun. The intern looks at the bowl, then at him, his eyebrows furrowed. "You're a doctor, so you should know that those are unhealthy. Eat more. I'm going to order again."

Chanyeol stands up, when Baekhyun calls him. "Doctor Park, this - I mean -"

"I told you to call me sunbae." Chanyeol threatens, so that Baekhyun will take him seriously. "And if you don't listen to me, I'm going to tell Professor Lu about this. Now, eat."

Chanyeol goes to the counter again to buy himself samgyetang, and he looks behind him to see Baekhyun slowly eating his food.

Baekhyun looks vulnerable, and Chanyeol suddenly has this urge to take care of him after seeing him cry because Heebin left and after finding out that he doesn't eat much. He thinks that is because Baekhyun is a junior and he needs guidance not only from Lu Han, but also from him.

***

Weeks passed, and Chanyeol is roped on several activities: research, emergency operations, being an attending physician to the new patients. Now, he barely sees the kids in the ward. He sleeps for more or less than three hours every day. It becomes an everyday routine. But he doesn’t complain. He never complains because this is the life he chose.

He seldom sees Baekhyun, too. They would cross each other’s paths in the hallway, greet each other, and ‘see you later’. Nothing much. He doesn’t ask if he’s been eating properly, and he can’t find the reason to ask anymore. He doesn’t know if they’re close enough to remind him to eat three decent meals a day.

It’s not like he’s looking for Baekhyun, though.

Chanyeol comes out of the operating room, rubbing the nape of his neck to get the crick out because he’s been ducking down for more than three hours. He goes to the pharmacy, still in his scrubs, knocking on the glass door.

“Yes, Doctor Park?”

“Miss Kang, Do you have menthol patches?” Chanyeol asks.

“Wait for a sec.” Seulgi goes to the shelves on the far end of the room, but when she comes back in front, she doesn’t have any menthol patches on her hands. “Sorry, Doctor Park. We ran out of stock here. I believe there’s another box in the storage room, I’ll go and get it.”

“No.” Chanyeol says. “Let me get it by myself.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. It’s okay.”

So, Chanyeol goes to the storage room, opening the door with ease. He doesn’t even bother to look for the switch, because the room is dimly lit by the moonlight. He looks for the boxes labeled with ‘menthol patches’ and finds one on the top of the shelf. He is about to reach up and get it when he hears a yelping sound somewhere around the room. He is about to ignore it but he hears it again, louder this time.

He gets the box first, before walking around the room silently to search for that sound. The room is full of shelves, so he has to look on each gap, the box around his arms. He reaches the wall, and there he sees a lump on the corner. He doesn’t get scared easily (no, he definitely doesn’t), and with each step he takes closer to the figure, the yelping becomes louder.

Chanyeol hovers on the figure, and puts the box down the floor. With (trembling) hand, he places a hand on it and his eyes widen when the figure suddenly moves and two big, scary eyes are looking up at him. He lets out an unmanly shriek, scoots backwards by his butt, closing his eyes tightly.

“Don’t come near me!” he covers his face with his hands, and he prays that the door appears magically in front of him so that he can run away from the storage room’s monster.

“Doctor Park?”

He stops scooting back when he hears a familiar voice. It is really familiar, and he removes the hands from his face and there he sees the big eyes – no, it’s only an eye mask. He realizes that it is an eye mask when it was taken off. And the familiar voice comes from Baekhyun.

Baekhyun is squinting to see him clearly, then sits up straight. “What are you doing here?”

Chanyeol clears his throat, and feels heat on his cheeks. He just deeply wishes that Baekhyun doesn’t see it. “Ah, I needed menthol patches so I went here to get a box.” He stands up, dusting his pants. “What are you doing here in – oh.”

He doesn’t need a half a second to notice the pillows and blankets on Baekhyun’s side. It’s obvious that he’s been sleeping here.

“How long have you been sleeping here?” he asks. Baekhyun doesn’t meet his eyes, simply staring on the cold, tiled floor.

“For a month? I think.” the intern answers. “I thought I can make it, sleeping in the dorm with the others. But I’m really – really uncomfortable with it.”

Chanyeol thinks it’s a secret Baekhyun doesn’t easily share with anyone. So he’s not going to pry. “Did you even try looking for any extra rooms to use? Why here?”

“I’ve tried, Doctor Park. I did.” Baekhyun says, his hands now busy fiddling with his horrendous eye mask. “But there’s no available room. And I think it would be unfair to the other interns if I requested one. Also, no one goes here at this hour and –”

“But it is cold here, Doctor Byun.” Chanyeol sighs. “I don’t think sleeping here will be good for you. We both know that.”

“I know. But I’m okay. I’m fine here, Doctor Park.” Baekhyun says, but Chanyeol doesn’t believe him. The poor intern looks exactly like him years ago – frail, stubborn and lost.

“Okay, fine.” Chanyeol says, picking up the box of menthol patches from the floor. Without a glance back at Baekhyun, he leaves the cold storage room.

***

Chanyeol sits on his bed, applying the menthol patch on the back of his neck. He lets the coolness seep through his skin, exhaling in relief, and when he tilts his head, he notices that he has a somewhat large expanse of floor. The floor can fit two more sleeping persons on it, and maybe Doctor Byun can –

Something snaps in his mind. Chanyeol quickly changes into grey t-shirt and black sweatpants, and speedwalks back to the storage room. But when he reaches the door he stops, hand hovering on the doorknob. He’s not sure what made him go here, it’s just that he wants a comfortable intern life for Baekhyun. Because he cares for him – yes he certainly cares for him because he’s his junior, had worked with him for a week and became a great student. Yes, that’s his reason he’s going to tell Baekhyun when he –

“Doctor Park?”

Chanyeol whirls around, and stares at Baekhyun, who’s holding a plastic cup of coffee. He clears his throat, and for the second time, he tries to fight the blush creeping up on his cheeks. “Oh, hi. Doctor Byun.”

“Did you forget something inside?”

“Ah, no, actually, I –” Chanyeol stammers. He doesn’t know what to say and how to say it. He has never been good with words, but Baekhyun is waiting for him patiently, sipping from his cup. Chanyeol gives up then, he will just say whatever’s on his mind right now. “I have a proposition.”

“Uh, okay?”

Oh, shit. “Myroomcanfittwomorepersonstheresoifyoulikeyoucansleepthere.” he says in one breath. Baekhyun looks confused though. He breathes in, breathes out. “I mean, my room is too big for me, so a roommate won’t be a problem. You can sleep there, and also I’m too busy right now so I’m not going to sleep there most of the time. You’ll be comfortable there.” Chanyeol said more than what he expected.

“Doctor Park, I told you I’m okay sleeping in the storage room.” Baekhyun says. Chanyeol has expected already from him that he will disagree, but he will not give up without putting up a good fight. He has already reached this point now, might as well push forward.

“Byun Baekhyun.” Chanyeol sighs, and he feels the pain on his neck subsiding. He’s going to use his senior card now. “I’m your senior. I know what’s good for you, because I’ve been in the same situation as yours. Just – just listen to me, please?”

Chanyeol thinks almost a minute has passed before Baekhyun starts speaking again. “Do you have heater in your room?”

***

“You’ll have to sleep on the floor until we find an extra mattress.” Chanyeol says, watching as Baekhyun drops his things on the side. The intern looks up at him as he fixes his blankets on the floor.

“I’m fine, as long as there’s heater here.” Baekhyun says, smiling, and Chanyeol tries not to focus on how pretty his smile is. “You’ve done a lot for me, Doctor Park. Thank you so much.”

“You’re not calling me sunbae anymore.” Chanyeol says, sitting on the edge of his bed. Ever since they stopped working together, Baekhyun is back on being polite, calling him Doctor Park whenever they meet each other at the hallways. Chanyeol notices. He has always been observant.

“Oh.” Baekhyun sits on his makeshift bed, cross-legged. He covers his lower body with his blanket. “Sorry, Chanyeol sunbae.”

“Now, go to sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day again.” Chanyeol lies down on his bed, covering himself up with his blanket. “Good night.”

He hears Baekhyun mutter a good night, Chanyeol sunbae before he drifts to sleep.

***

Chanyeol is not a heavy sleeper. That is why he woke up quickly when he heard a little noise coming from the floor. It is Baekhyun, folding his blankets neatly. He sits up, rubbing his face so he wakes up completely.

Baekhyun notices him waking up. "Good morning. Did I wake you up, Chanyeol sunbae?"

Chanyeol looks up on the digital clock on his nightstand. Four-seventeen in the morning. He can still sleep until five. "No, I'm supposed to wake up in a few minutes anyways." Well, forty-three minutes is not 'few' for a person who needs sleep. And he definitely needs to sleep right now because he's still sleepy and tired.

"Okay. I'll see you later, Chanyeol sunbae." Baekhyun says, putting aside his blankets and pillows on the spot beside Chanyeol's heater. He looks like he also just woke up, and he looks cute, his hair messy, little mouth pouting, and Chanyeol seriously can't take his sleepy eyes off the intern's face when he yawned. When he put on a mask to cover his nose and mouth, Chanyeol looks away.

Baekhyun bows slightly at Chanyeol before leaving the room. Chanyeol flops back to his bed, groaning, covering his whole body with his blanket. He squints at the crisscross pattern of the fabric, trying to put the image of just-woke-up image of Baekhyun at the back of his mind. His alarm is still set up to ring at five in the morning, and he closes his eyes, Baekhyun being the last one he thinks of before going back to slumber.

***

Chanyeol is in the department office, in front of his computer to study his research when Kyungsoo comes in.

"What are you doing here?" Chanyeol asks, without even sparing a glance at Kyungsoo, who is now sitting on the couch near the door. Before he came in, Chanyeol was alone in the office.

"Is it wrong to visit a friend during free hours?" He says. "And seriously, Chanyeol, you just had your lasik surgery six months ago, and you're abusing your eyes too much again. Wear your eyeglasses or else I'll tell Junmyeon so that he'll scream at your ear."

"Yes mom, please don't tell dad about this." he says, and he takes out his eyeglasses from the drawer. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Kyungsoo rolling his eyes. He is sure Kyungsoo is in the office for a reason. "What are you doing here?" He asks again.

"Well, I saw someone coming out from your room this morning."

Chanyeol freezes, his eyes glaring holes at the photo of an open heart on his computer screen. He recovers after a few seconds though, because he doesn't want to look affected at all. "Oh that. I let Baekhyun sleep on my room. I saw him sleeping on the storage room and it wasn't a good sight."

"There's enough place in the dorm room, why isn't he sleeping there?"

"I don't know, ask him." He lies casually, still trying to focus on what he is researching. "I was just a kindhearted soul last night so I offered him a spot on my room. It's too big for me anyways, and I don't think I'll be spending my nights there for the next few weeks, not until my research is ready for submission."

"But you have a crush on him, right? How are you supposed to move away from your room now?"

That is when Chanyeol turns around to glare at Kyungsoo, and he feels heat on his cheeks, his heart beginning to beat louder and faster on his chest. His body and face are not supposed to respond like that. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Prof Lu told me you have a crush on Doctor Byun." Kyungsoo says, not even intimidated under his glare. In fact, he looks smug right now. Chanyeol should filter his friends more carefully.

"That's not true!" He huffs, and maybe he should stop reacting a bit too much because honestly, he is not harboring a crush on Lu Han's intern. Kyungsoo might mistake him. He should be calm, take the weird gossip lightly and deny it with an innocent smile on his face so that Kyungsoo will believe him. "I don't like him. I'm just being a good senior. I should set an example to the interns, right?"

Kyungsoo snorts. He doesn't even look convinced. Chanyeol's mind is on haywire. He should say something before Kyungsoo starts pushing him back on the hot seat.

"You know what, go away. I'm working here. You should give your free time to your boyfriend, or whoever he is to you."

"Rude." Kyungsoo stands up anyways, heading to the door. "And Junmyeon's not my boyfriend! We're just friends!"

"That answer is overused. Now, go."

The teasing backfires a little at Kyungsoo, but what he said to Chanyeol left him in a state of confusion. And now he can't think properly anymore; he keeps on focusing on his research, tries to understand what he's reading, but every information has been blocked by the image of Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo's looped 'you have a crush on him'.

He turns off his computer, deciding that he should eat. He blames his loss of attention to hunger, and also to Do Kyungsoo.

***

Chanyeol orders bibimbap for his late lunch, and when he looks for a place to sit, he sees a familiar person eating on the far end of the canteen. Chanyeol smiles and begins to walk, deciding that he should ask him if he can sit with him.

Baekhyun sees him coming and he waves his free hand, while eating a sandwich. But when Chanyeol is already halfway to his table, Kyungsoo's question rings in his head again.

But you have a crush on him, right?

Chanyeol backs away, looking around for another table to sit, and finds one near the window, too far away from Doctor Byun’s table.

He thinks he sees disappointment in Doctor Byun's eyes when he walks away from him, but maybe that's his imagination working again.

***

Chanyeol thinks he has done enough work for today but he can't stop. He wants to do something, so that he can shift his attention to it, so that he can stop recalling his conversation with Kyungsoo.

"Damn it." He mutters to himself. He's browsing on a webtoon site, scrolling, reading, but not understanding everything. He managed to focus on his work earlier thankfully, but when he finished, his mind began on focusing to someone else.

He groans, as he finally turns off the computer. He doesn't know what to do, and he wants to sleep already, but cannot because Doctor Byun is probably there in their now shared room. He doesn't even know why he is feeling this way ever since Kyungsoo asked that question. If he's not guilty, he shouldn't be feeling this way. He should be laughing it off, but why is he here? Why did he avoid Baekhyun at the canteen? Why does the idea of sleeping in one room with Baekhyun make him feel suffocated? Does he really have a crush on Baekhyun?

Now that he has thought of it, Chanyeol is wondering if the reason why he always helps him is because he is harboring a crush on him. He never mistakes his kindness to someone as something else, because he always helps people. He saves people.

He helps Baekhyun because he's his senior. He doesn't want Baekhyun to experience Chanyeol's struggles when he was still an intern. He doesn't want to see Baekhyun silently cry because his favorite patient is now discharged. He doesn't want to see Baekhyun not eating healthy meals three times a day because goddamnit, he is a doctor and he should know better than that. He doesn't want to see Baekhyun sleeping in a cold and dusty storage room with his blankets and pillows.

He wants to see Baekhyun's smile, that kind of smile when he talks softly to the kids. Also that kind of smile when he is thanking Chanyeol for being such a helpful senior. And that kind of smile he shows Chanyeol when he's a little shy. He wants to see Baekhyun in his just-woke-up hair because it feels like they're so close to each other. He wants to hear Baekhyun calling him Chanyeol sunbae because he likes his voice. He wants –

"Doctor Park?"

Chanyeol looks up and sees the janitor peeking from the door. "Yeah?"

"Uh? Are you finished? Can I come in to clean the office?"

"Oh, sure you can. I'm going anyways." He says then stands up, gathering his things. He looks down at his watch. It's three in the morning and a two hour sleep can't be a problem. The only thing that bothers him is the person sleeping on his room. Maybe he can manage this. He can sleep there on his bed, trying so hard not to look down at the sleeping figure on the floor, and when he wakes up Baekhyun is not there anymore.

He holds the doorknob, taking deep breaths before opening the door. There he sees Baekhyun sleeping soundly, his face flat on his pillow. Chanyeol notices that he's still wearing his lab coat, his stethoscope beside his head. He looks really peaceful, but there is something in Chanyeol's mind that urges him to go back to the office, hoping that the janitor will be able to help him.

***

There’s a new patient. She’s just a kid, but is already suffering from a rare disease. The doctors held a meeting inside the conference room. Chanyeol’s head hurts from too much information and also from the lack of sleep. Minseok throws a worried look on him because he’s been massaging his head for minutes. He shakes his head, trying to focus on the kid’s information in his tablet. He can also hear Doctor Byun speaking, maybe asking or voicing out his opinion on the situation, he doesn’t know.

Lucky for him, the meeting ends after a few minutes and after the doctors left the room, he pushes his tablet aside and rests his head on the table.

“Hey, are you okay?” Minseok asks. He hears a chair beside him moving, and a hand is now on his shoulder. “Does your head hurt?”

“Yeah, a bit.” he says. Actually, his head hurts a lot. He didn’t get dinner last night, and he didn’t get sleep.

“You should get a rest today.” Minseok says. “You’ve been working so hard since Heebin’s discharge, and you know that you shouldn’t push yourself too much.”

“I know. It’s just that –” Chanyeol pauses. Should he tell Minseok about this thing that’s been bothering him since yesterday? Minseok is one of his trusted friends, and maybe he can help him. Minseok looks at him, waiting patiently. “Hyung, how did you know that you like Lu Han hyung?”

Minseok stares at him like he has grown two heads. But after a few moments, he answers, “He’s always on my mind, and I can’t stop looking for him, like my day isn’t complete without seeing him. I like to see him smile and laugh. I want to be beside him always, but whenever I’m with him, I become awkward and wish the earth swallows me. I want to be the only one to take care of him. And there, I realized I like him too much and it’s too late to go back. But I don’t regret anything.”

Chanyeol knows Minseok will ask, so he avoids his eyes, and instead looks at the frosted glass door. “I see.”

“You know what, Chanyeol. You never told anyone of us about liking someone. We’ve been together for years. I’ve known you for so long but you never shared anything about things like this. And now you’re asking, I know there is something.” he says. “So, tell me. Do you like someone?”

“I don’t know.” he straightforwardly answers. He doesn’t really know. “I don’t know if I like him or not. I’m confused.”

“Ah, first love.” Minseok teases, but his tone doesn’t annoy Chanyeol. His tone is concerned. “So do you want to tell me everything? It’s okay if you don’t want to say his name. I know that he’s an intern.”

“Of course, Lu Han hyung told you.” Chanyeol scoffs, but he tells Minseok about everything. From the start, when Lu Han gave Baekhyun to him to assist him on Heebin’s surgery, until today, when he lost sleep because he was staring at a sleeping Baekhyun.

As soon as he stops, Minseok is smiling at him. “I’m sorry Chanyeol if I can’t conclude anything for you, but I think you will figure it out eventually.”

He’s not dumb not to realize what Minseok is trying to tell him.

He groans again, complaining again about his headache.

***

Since Minseok gave him a day-off, he decided to go back into his room and sleep and get a fancy dinner outside. Baekhyun is probably not there and Chanyeol is thankful because he can sleep peacefully.

But he’s wrong.

As soon as he opens the door to his room, he sees Baekhyun standing in front of a bed – well, another bed. The janitor reminded him earlier before he went to the meeting that he found a bed in the basement, although old, but still can be used. Chanyeol gave him the permission to bring the bed into their room. And now Baekhyun is looking on it now.

He clears his throat, and suddenly, Baekhyun turns around. But instead of seeing a happy Baekhyun, he sees a frowning Baekhyun. And Chanyeol thinks that he doesn’t like a frowning Baekhyun. Did he do something wrong?

“You’ve done so much to me, Doctor Park.” Baekhyun says. “I should thank you for this, but I’m – I’m afraid I can’t give anything in return.”

“No, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol breathes out. Fortunately, he finds his voice somewhere. “You don’t have to give me anything in return. If you’re okay, then I’m okay. I’m not asking for something. I just want to help you.”

Baekhyun doesn’t reply, just looking at him, then at the bed. Then at him again. “Can I ask you a favor, then?”

Chanyeol can’t say no. He can never. “What is it?”

“I want this to be the last thing you will do for me.” he says calmly. “I’m sorry but I think it’s too much.”

Chanyeol sighs. His head still hurts, and he can’t say no. He can never say no. “Okay.”

“Thank you.” Baekhyun says. “For the bed, and for respecting my decision.”

“Okay.” Chanyeol nods, and goes to his own bed, removing his lab coat and his necktie. He lies down on his bed still in his white dress shirt and slacks, facing the wall. He’s too lazy to change clothes. He stares at the wall until he hears the door being closed softly. He sighs again, feeling so disappointed with himself.

***

As soon as he steps out of his room, Chanyeol sees Soojung who just passed by his room. She is also out of her uniform.

"Soojung!" He calls, and Soojung turns around to raise an eyebrow at him. Chanyeol approaches her.

"You're going out too?" She asks, now noticing Chanyeol's clothes.

"Yeah, Minseok hyung gave me a day-off."

"I asked Head Nurse Park for a night off. I thought she wouldn't allow me, but she was in a good mood when I asked her." She says. "We rarely get free time. And I'm craving for beef."

"How about we should go together?" Chanyeol suggests. He drapes his arm around Soojung's shoulders. She's one of Chanyeol's oldest friends in the hospital, so there will be no awkwardness between them if he asked her to go out for dinner. "It's a friendly date! I missed hanging out with you."

"Of course, it's a friendly date. I know your preferences." Soojung teases, nudging Chanyeol's side. "Speaking of, you should meet people and try your luck in dating again. You're not getting any younger, oppa."

"Let's go to the kids' ward first. I haven't seen them for days." He says, removing his arm around Soojung to walk ahead. He just wanted to avoid the topic, to be honest. He can only hear Soojung sigh from behind him.

He opens the door to the kids' ward, and there he sees the kids playing with Doctor Byun. The intern greets him. He is about to greet him back but his mind recalls what happened before he fell asleep, so he ignores him and kneels down to meet the kids. He is still upset for some unknown reason. Soojung enters the ward too and greets the kids.

"Hi, how are you doing today?" He asks, ruffling the kids' hair one by one.

"Doctor Kim said I'm getting healthier!" Hyunwoo says, wide smile spreading on his face. Chanyeol's heart melts at the sight, because Hyunwoo is one of the kids in the ward who suffers from a heart disease, yet he doesn't look like one. He's even motr optimistic than Chanyeol and he admires that trait from him.

"It's nice to hear that!" Chanyeol says. "Just follow what Doctor Kim is telling you, so you will be more and more healthier, okay? You too, Yejinnie. How are you?"

Yejin doesn't answer him, instead she stares at Soojung. "Doctor Frank, are you going out?"

"Ah, yes. Nurse Jung and I are going to eat outside. We are going to eat beef!" He says. "When you get better, you can eat beef! But you have to eat in moderation so that you won't upset your stomach."

Yejin ignores him again, still staring at Soojung. "Are you Doctor Frank's girlfriend?"

Chanyeol doesn't know what came into his mind as he cuts Soojung off when she is about to answer Yejin.

"Maybe." He answers. He can now feel Soojung glaring at the back of his head. So before Soojung can neck-chop him in front of the kids, he pinches Yejin's cheek and stands up. "You're too young to ask those questions, Yejinnie."

They leave the kids' ward without Chanyeol even acknowledging Doctor Byun's presence there.

Chanyeol hisses when Soojung kicks his shin.

"Why did you tell the little kid that we're in an 'it's complicated' situation? We're just eating outside, giant." She crosses her arms, watching Chanyeol dust off his pants. 

"I'm sorry! I don't even know why I said that!" He says, trying to lower his voice because there are patients wandering around. And even though they're not wearing uniforms, it is still embarrassing to shout at each other in the hallway.

Soojung then pushes Chanyeol, who is still crouching, by his shoulders. Chanyeol almost loses his balance.

"What again?" He asks, annoyed. He stands straight and tries to avoid Soojung's eyes, but he knows he will just fail because Soojung never gives up until she gets enough information.

"You like Doctor Byun." Soojung whispers. It is not even a question and Chanyeol wants to turn into a puddle from too much shame. "And you were trying to get some reaction from him when you told Yejin that I am maybe your girlfriend."

"I don't know if I like him, okay. I'm not even sure of my feelings." He says.

“You know what, you’re stupid.”

***

“So,” Junmyeon starts, “How’s your research? I heard from Minseok hyung that you’re spending your midnights in the office for two weeks.”

“I’m three-fourths done, I guess. So far I haven’t encountered any problems while doing it, so hopefully it will be completed by next month.” he says, picking up a radish and placing it on Kyungsoo’s plate.

“Are you okay, though?” Kyungsoo asks. “You looked like you’re not happy about it.”

“Nah, I’m just tired. I haven’t been getting sleep, but I’ll try to take a nap later.”

Chanyeol thinks Junmyeon is asking something, but he can’t hear it over the laughs that resonates the cafeteria. It is Doctor Byun, with the pouty intern from oncology. What’s his name again? Jongbin? Baekhyun looks so ridiculous while laughing, his glass of water almost fell from the table from moving too much. Chanyeol tries to pretend that he’s not irritated because of the excessive noise, but when the Jongbin guy said something again, Baekhyun doubles up with laughter again.

“Can you keep your noise to yourselves?” Chanyeol shouts at the two interns, who suddenly stop. Baekhyun is staring at him in disbelief while Jongbin is bowing at him to apologize. He avoids Baekhyun’s eyes and returns to his food, and then he realizes that Junmyeon and Kyungsoo are still sitting in front of him.

“What’s your problem?” Junmyeon hisses. “This is not the library, Chanyeol, why are you so grumpy?”

Chanyeol tries to ignore him, idly eating, but then Kyungsoo blocks his spoon with his chopsticks. He glares at him.

“Are you jealous of Kim Jongin?” Kyungsoo asks softly, not even bothered with the glare Chanyeol’s been sending him. “Tell me honestly, Park Chanyeol.”

“I’m just tired, that’s all.” he mutters, finally losing his appetite. “I don’t mean to snap at them.”

From the corner of his eye, he sees Junmyeon nudging Kyungsoo, like the older is telling Kyungsoo to stop pestering him. Good thing, Kyungsoo listens.

***

It’s nine in the evening, and this is the earliest Chanyeol has gone to bed in years, but he’s not sleepy at all. In fact, his mind is wandering around, from his vacation plans after his research presentation to gifts he should give his niece for her birthday next month.

His mind also recalls what happened earlier in the cafeteria, Kim Jongin’s apologetic face, and Baekhyun’s disappointed look on him. He groans, burying his face on his pillow. What he told Kyungsoo is really true, he didn’t really mean to snap at them, it’s just that he’s been wallowing on his desk for weeks meanwhile Baekhyun just laughs along with his fellow intern, like nothing happened. But he can never deny that he’s not jealous. He is. He doesn’t recall a scene that he made Baekhyun laugh like that.

He is about to sit up when the door creaks open. Pretending to sleep won’t the best option, since his position right now is the most uncomfortable for him and he doesn’t really care at all if it’s Baekhyun, he probably won’t be here for long; but he thought wrong because Baekhyun speaks even before he can move his arms.

“I know you’re awake, Dr. Park.” Baekhyun says. He hears footsteps coming close. He keeps Chanyeol frozen on his spot as he starts speaking again. “You’ve been avoiding me, you ignored me in front of the kids, you started sleeping in your office, and you even snapped at Jongin and me in the cafeteria. Is this because of the favor I asked from you? Sorry if I sounded so disrespectful right now, but I want to know what’s your problem with me and if we can fix it. Chanyeol sunbae, please.”

There’s too much to absorb and he doesn’t want to talk to anyone right now, so he choose not to answer.

“You’re not going to answer me?” he hears Baekhyun sigh deeply. This is not going to be good. “Hmm, okay then. It’s really hard to sleep in a place where your roommate doesn’t even talk to you. Maybe I should move out.”

No. Chanyeol doesn’t want him to leave. And that is his cue to sit up finally, almost dropping his blanket on the floor. “No.”

“What do you mean by no?” Baekhyun crosses his arms across his chest, and for a moment there he looks like he’s talking down to his senior. Chanyeol deserves that.

“No, don’t move out.” Chanyeol breathes out. There’s no turning back now. He clutches at his pajamas. “I’m sorry for acting like a kid. I just - I really don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m just sorry.”

“Okay. I’m not moving out.” Baekhyun says, after watching him hesitantly. Chanyeol looks up, and he notices the intern’s little smile. “You’re the sunbae I look up to the most, and it really disappointed me when you started ignoring me. If I offended you in some way, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. We’re okay.”

Baekhyun leaves the room to go back to work and also leaves Chanyeol staring at the door for a long time. Chanyeol realizes that it’s really hard to suppress the feelings you don’t really want to feel. But he’s been tired all along, physically, and now emotionally, so he’s not going to run away from whatever he feels towards Baekhyun. He’s tired of denying to everyone who asks, of trying to be ignorant. He knows it all too well; he knows what he really wants. Whatever he feels, he will just let it be.

 

***

 

Chanyeol visits the kids in the ward, bringing them breads he bought at the bakery nearby. He misses the kids so much, that he almost cried they kissed him on his cheek.

But there’s one kid who’s sitting on her bed, looking frail and sleepy. She’s the new patient from a month ago, with the rare disease. The cardiothoracic department is now prepared for her immediate treatment, from what he heard from Minseok. But right now, her appearance looks alarming to him.

He stands up to check on the little girl but then Baekhyun appears on the door pushing a wheelchair.

“Jungri! Dr. Lu and Dr. Kim want to see you right now!” he announces to the whole room, but his cheerful tone doesn’t even make Jungri smile. Baekhyun looks at him, “Hello, Dr. Park! Visiting the kids?”

Chanyeol doesn’t answer, goes to Jungri to check up on her but suddenly she faints, almost falling from her bed if not for Chanyeol catching her.

There’s a loud gasp and the kids are shouting from sheer panic. Chanyeol’s eyes widen, and he looks at Baekhyun.

“Go and call Dr. Kim! I’ll bring her to the ER!” he orders to Baekhyun, and carries Jungri out of the ward.

 

***

 

“She’s fine, she’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Minseok says to Jungri’s mom, sympathy laced in his voice. She’s been crying for almost an hour, watching her daughter from the glass window of the ICU. There are lots of tubes connected to the poor kid, and Chanyeol’s heart clenches at the sight. He decides to walk away, and when he turns around, he sees Baekhyun standing on the other side of the glass door. He looks so scared, hugging his tablet close to his chest, like he will collapse if he let go of it. Chanyeol approaches him, and when he gets closer, he realizes that the intern cried, his face all red and eyes bloodshot.

“Are you okay?” he asks as soon as the automatic glass doors opened, holding him on his shoulders. Baekhyun nods, meeting him on his eyes. Chanyeol wants to hug him but he knows he doesn’t have any right to do that.

“I’m okay.” he says, voice wobbly. “But is Jungri okay? Is it bad?”

“For now, she’s fine, she’s stable.” he says, turning Baekhyun around and motions for him to sit down. He can’t assure him that the little girl will be okay because Baekhyun is a doctor too, and lying to him will be futile. He sits beside him. “But for her condition, I think she’s gotten worse.”

Baekhyun’s breath hitched. “I don’t know what to do. I think I did something wrong. I should’ve checked on her more regularly. I -“

“Ssh, don’t blame yourself. There is no one to blame here.” Chanyeol puts his hand on Baekhyun’s knee. Baekhyun looks so fragile, fresh new tears wetting his cheeks again. “Everything’s gonna be okay, don’t worry.”

He’s really bad at comforting people, he’s told himself that a lot of times. He really can’t sugarcoat things just to make someone feel better. The only thing he can do is pat him on his knee, silently reminding him that Jungri will be okay, that this won’t happen again.

 

***

"Oh, Doctor Park. You're here."

Chanyeol nods, his eyes still focused on his laptop. He decided to work on his research in his room, just for a change of atmosphere. He's been in the office for weeks and he thinks bringing his work in his bed won't be so bad after all.

"Still working on the research even here, I see." Baekhyun says, hanging his sling bag on the coat hanger.

"How's your day off?" Chanyeol asks. "Did you enjoy?"

"If only I had more days off, I could've visited my parents." Baekhyun says. He sits on his bed just right in front of Chanyeol's. "But I enjoyed my day off today. I went to the mall, ate in a restaurant and bought goldfish bread for the kids. They asked me to buy it for them when I told them I'll be going out."

"It's nice to hear that." He says. He almost curses because of autocorrect. He glances at Baekhyun. The intern is swinging his legs. "Don't worry, you'll have your own vacation."

Baekhyun hums in agreement. A comfortable silence follows and stays for a while, letting Chanyeol's typing in the keyboard do all the noise, and then, "Do you want goldfish bread? I brought some for you too."

That is when Chanyeol finally sets aside his laptop and takes the plastic bag from him. He hasn't eaten dinner because there was an emergency patient and proceeded on his research that he totally forgot about it. He mumbles a soft ‘thanks’ and begins on eating. It has red bean filling and it is so delicious. He offers some to Baekhyun.

"Sunbae." Baekhyun accepts the bread Chanyeol is offering him and eats it. “Thanks.”

"Call me hyung when we're alone." Chanyeol says while chewing, crumbs falling off his lips. It's really embarrassing to eat messily in front of Baekhyun, but he thinks it can't be helped. He's really hungry. "We don't need to be professional here. We're friends."

"Friends?" There's a look of surprise in Baekhyun, and Chanyeol tilts his head.

"Hey, you've been sleeping in my room for two months and I've seen you cry twice already and you still think we're not friends? I'm insulted." He mock frowns, clenching his chest to add effect. Baekhyun snorts.

They've gotten closer these days, after that time when Jungri was put in the ICU. Baekhyun is somehow dependent on him now, when it comes to his worries about Jungri's health. He is fully aware about the little girl's condition, but sometimes when he's still in doubt, he asks Chanyeol.

“Okay, stop with the drama hyung.” Baekhyun laughs, lifting his feet so that he can sit cross-legged on his bed. “I want to ask something.”

“Hmm. Okay, go ahead.”

“How do relationships work here in the hospital?”

Chanyeol takes a pause, staring at Baekhyun for a while. He looks really curious. But how will Chanyeol answer that? He didn’t even have any serious relationship for years. Baekhyun seems to notice the discomfort in his face, so he speaks again.

“I mean, Prof Lu and Prof Kim’s relationship is so strong even though they are busy 24/7 and…” he looks down on his lap. “And you and Nurse Jung. I’m just - I’m just curious, I swear.”

Chanyeol tries to remember what Baekhyun is talking about, about him and Soojung, and then he realizes it was when he became childish and implied about Soojung being his ‘girlfriend’ in front of the kids and Baekhyun. He leans on the wall, really pushing himself there, wanting the wall to open up and swallow him whole. He’s thankful that the intern can’t see his face getting red because the room is dim. But he has to tell the truth, he wants Baekhyun to know that he’s not in a relationship with Soojung, or even with anyone.

“Soojung is not my girlfriend.” he says finally, almost inaudible.

Baekhyun’s head suddenly perks up. He looks so surprised, and Chanyeol cannot explain why Baekhyun’s face also looks like he’s relieved. He doesn’t want to conclude anything. “What do you mean?”

“Soojung is not my girlfriend. She’s never been my girlfriend. She’s just like my younger sister.”

“Then why? Why did you tell the kids that she’s your girlfriend?”

Chanyeol doesn’t know how to answer. He can’t even tell Baekhyun that he doesn’t have any interest on girls. What if Baekhyun freaks out? What if he tells Baekhyun that he likes him more than a friend?

The sudden realization that his thoughts are possible hits him. He can’t ruin their friendship. He really can’t. He’s already happy with being friends with Baekhyun.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know.” Chanyeol takes his laptop again. He wants something to divert his attention to. He doesn’t want to look at Baekhyun anymore, fearing that the look in his eyes might give clue to him.

“Hyung.” Baekhyun calls out, trying to make sure that he doesn’t cross any lines. “Do you want to tell me something?”

“Nothing, Baekhyun. Nothing. Please stop asking.” he says a bit sternly, sighing when he realizes he did raise his tone. “I’m sorry.”

“No it’s fine. I shouldn’t have interfered.” Baekhyun stands up, goes for his dresser and takes clothes with him. “I’ll just take a bath. Hyung, you should sleep. You’ve worked hard for today.”

“Thank you.”

After Baekhyun closes the door, Chanyeol saves his work and turns off his laptop. He puts his hands on his face. He’s really stupid, really, really stupid.

His phone rings as soon as he puts down his laptop on his nightstand. He barely looks at his phone, only using it when he goes out and calls his family as he is using his pager more because of work. It’s his sister calling him, and when he looks at the digital clock it just turned twelve midnight and she should be sleeping right now.

“Noona? Is there something wrong? Why are you calling?”

“Am I not allowed to disturb Doctor Park? It’s your birthday, you forgetful baby.”

“My birthday?” he stares at the clock again and it says November 27. It is his birthday today. “Oh. Yes, it’s my birthday. Happy birthday to me.”

“You’ve been forgetting your birthday for years and if not for me reminding you every year you would’ve been fifty years old without you noticing it.” she says, her voice reprimanding. Chanyeol chuckles, playing with the hem of his shirt with his fingers.

“Take a day off today, go home and eat with us. We miss you.”

“Noona.” he says, sadly. “You know I can’t. I’ve been working on my research for months and I have patients to take care of. Having a day off won’t be possible.”

There’s a sigh on the other line. “Nothing can convince you? Even your niece?” she says, still sounding hopeful.

“Tell Bora that I miss her. Also to mom and dad.” he says. “I miss you too, noona. Always take care. And also bring mom and dad here for a check-up.”

“Mom always tells me you guys always have reunion in the hospital. She doesn’t like it at all.” she laughs, but Chanyeol can say that she’s not really smiling. “Alright, I’ll bring them there next week. But promise me after your research, go home. Or else.”

“I know, noona. I know.”

“And get a boyfriend.”

“I know - noona!” he messes his hair with his hand, completely embarrassed.

“I’m serious, Chanyeol. Go and get a boyfriend. You’re not getting any younger.”

 

***

 

He’s about to turn off the alarm clock when he sees a birthday hat and a note underneath.

Happy birthday, Dr. Park! Professor Lu told me about your birthday. Go to the kids’ ward, they’re all waiting for you!

He just turned thirty-six today, and he shouldn’t be blushing. He really shouldn’t. He’s too old for that.

But he still feels warmth on his cheeks, anyway.

 

***

 

“I can’t believe this. I’m finished finally.” Chanyeol mutters under his breath, repeatedly clicking the control and s keys to save his work. He even puts a copy on his flash drive and external hard drive, just to make sure he doesn’t lose anything. “Oh my god, I’m finished. This is it.”

“You look so happy today, Chanyeol.” Minseok says, as he enters the office. “Did something good happen?”

“I’m already done with my research, hyung!” he exclaims happily, quickly putting his laptop inside his backpack. “I should go meet the sponsors.”

“Congratulations, Chanyeol. You’ve worked so hard.”

He gives Minseok a hug, and the professor chuckles, patting his back lightly. “Thank you hyung! When this gets approved, I’ll treat everyone to dinner!”

“Okay. Now go!”

He’s practically running along the hallways, excited to meet his sponsors and submit his research. He’s hoping that he will make it to the three-day conference in Busan.

“Oh, Doctor Park! Why are you running?”

Chanyeol stops in his tracks, panting. Baekhyun is watching him worriedly, his hand hovering on his shoulder, but never touching.

“Doctor Park? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” he says, and he stands up straight. “I just finished my research and I’m ready to present it.”

“Really?” Baekhyun’s face lightens up. His smile is so blinding. “Congratulations. sunbae! I’m glad that your hard work finally paid off!”

Chanyeol is about to say thank you but stops as soon as he meets the intern’s eyes. Baekhyun suddenly looks so angelic, and it’s like the world stopped spinning, and they are the only ones who remained. He is too happy and contented that all of a sudden there’s an urge to reach out for him, to hug him and kiss him on his cheek.

And so he did. He even pecked him on his lips because he’s really that happy.

As soon as he realizes what he just did, he pushes Baekhyun away from him, and the latter’s back hits the wall. He hears an ‘oomf’ and guilt now hits him as revenge. His eyes widen, he doesn’t know what to say, or do at least.

“I’m so sorry!” he sputters helplessly, and runs away. The last thing he sees is the look of hurt in Baekhyun’s face, and he’s not sure if it’s because of his back or because of him running away.

 

***

His research is accepted, and he is immediately sent to Busan to get ready for the conference. He didn’t even have time to prepare, to say bye to the kids, to explain to Baekhyun what the kiss really meant.

He covers himself with the thick blankets from the hotel, groaning when he hears his phone ringing. The ringing dies but it rings again, dies and rings again, so he sits up, irritated to whoever calling him this early in the morning.

He sees Lu Han’s name on the screen, and becomes curious as to why the professor is calling him during work hours. He hopes this isn’t something bad.

“Hello, hyung? Why are you calling? Did something happen to my patients? What?”

“Hey, everything’s fine. Minseok and his interns are taking care of your patients. I just want to know if you’re okay. You’ve been there for two days and haven’t called.”

He sighs, blinking sleepily. The sunlight shining through the curtains encourages him to come out and welcome the sea. He’s been stuck inside his hotel room for days.

“I’m fine. I just took the rest I never had for the past months.”

“That’s… understandable.” there’s a pause. “Uh, I also called to tell you that Minseok sent someone to help you during the conference. It will be hard for you to work alone there.”

“Hyung.” he rubs his forehead. “I’m fine being alone.”

“Stop insisting that you can do everything alone, Chanyeol.” Lu Han’s voice becomes stern, and a stern Lu Han scares the hell out of him. Lu Han doesn’t even get angry that easily, his patience is kind of unlimited. Chanyeol guesses that Baekhyun has already told him. He suddenly doesn’t feel sleepy anymore. “You can’t do anything about this. Your assistant is already at the airport and you’re going to fetch him in an hour. Grow up, Chanyeol.”

The call ends and Chanyeol knows that he can’t do anything anymore. He still has an hour to prepare, and he should get going now.

 

***

Eleven in the morning and Chanyeol is standing in the waiting area, his height an advantage as he looks around for a familiar face. He’s one hundred percent sure Minseok sent a hospital staff for him.

He’s right, but he doesn’t expect that Minseok will send Baekhyun for him.

Chanyeol is just standing there, not making a step, until Baekhyun sees him. Baekhyun doesn’t look all too happy, he even walks past him. He becomes more aware, finally waking up from his stupor and running after him.

“Baekhyun, wait!” he calls, pulling him by his arm. “Baek -”

“What?” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, shrugging Chanyeol’s hand off from holding him by his arm. “What do you want? Like you, I don’t want myself here.”

Chanyeol is not prepared. Up until now he still doesn’t know what to say. He’s taken aback. He is going to be with Baekhyun for two whole weeks.

“I’m sorry.” is all he says again, and it doesn’t help at all because Baekhyun’s face turns sourer.

“That is all you’re going to say? I hate you, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun looks like he wants to shout but doesn’t want to make a scene. “It was just a kiss, I shouldn’t even throw a fit, but you pushed me and said sorry like you regretted everything.”

“Baekhyun, let me explain -”

“I know you’re really bad at words, I know. But you don’t have to make everything less painful for me, I know you don’t see me as more than a friend, you just help me because I’m pitiful, I’m a charity case, you’re being -”

Chanyeol doesn’t make him finish his rant, he puts an arm around his shoulder and pulls him for a very tight hug. He tries to shove Baekhyun’s face into his chest just to make him stop rambling.

“I love you Byun Baekhyun, goddamnit. I’ve loved you for quite some time now. I shouted at you and Kim Jongin because I was really jealous. And for the thousandth time you’re not a charity case, stop degrading yourself.” he says, and this is the very first time he admitted this to anyone. He doesn’t know where the courage to confess came from, but he’s going to make the most of it. Something heavy like this is finally taken off from his chest. He takes a deep breath, as Baekhyun stops squirming. “Hey, are you still breathing?”

“I hate you.” Baekhyun says once more, and walks away again. He’s blushing. He doesn’t really mean what he said. He’s assuming that Baekhyun likes him too. Chanyeol lets him, keeping a safe distance behind him as they walk to the exit. He can’t stop smiling.

Baekhyun almost glues himself to the cab’s door, ignoring him the whole trip to the hotel. He tries to get closer, scooting a little bit then again, but Baekhyun just glares at him every time he makes a move.

“You can just stay in my room, that’s cheaper than renting two rooms for two weeks.”

Baekhyun turns around to glare at him again, his keycard kept tightly in his hand. He looks down, like he has thought of something because he is blushing again. Then, he pushed the keycard to Chanyeol’s chest. “Return that. I’m going to stay in your room.”

Chanyeol’s smile grows wider, and he pinches Baekhyun’s nose. The intern swats his hand away with a grunt. He likes the grumpy Baekhyun, he still looks sweet.

Chanyeol opens the door to his bedroom and Baekhyun dumps his bag beside his bed and jumps on it, staring at the ceiling. Chanyeol stands on the side, hesitant if he should sit beside him or stay standing.

“Baekhyun.”

“Don’t speak.”

“Baekhyun.”

“Don’t speak.”

“Baekhyun.”

“I wanted to kiss you in the airport I was resisting myself.”

Now it’s his turn to blush, clearing his voice to ease the tension. “Baekhyun -“

Baekhyun sits up, hugging his knees close to his chest. “I was really happy when you said Soojung is not your girlfriend. Do you know how much it bothered me? Then when she said you just lied to make me jealous, I thought you’re the most stupid person I’ve ever met.”

“What -”

“Prof Lu told me everything. I talked to Soojung too, just last night. I don’t really want to go here, you know. I really couldn’t face you. I didn’t want to show you that I’m affected with that kiss.”

“I couldn’t tell you I like you because I might freak you out.”

“Why would I? I know you’re gay. Prof Lu told me about that when he told me I’ll be replacing Sehun.”

Chanyeol feels wobbly so he sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the carpet disbelievingly. He wants to melt into a puddle and ruin the sheets.

“Everything’s so messy, right?” Baekhyun chuckles, burying his face on his arms. Chanyeol laughs along too, and maybe everything’s not that bad.

“Yeah.” Chanyeol agrees. He puts his feet on the bed, sits closer to Baekhyun. This time, he doesn’t budge. “You said you want to kiss me. You can do it now.”

“What the -“

Chanyeol grabs him by his neck and kisses him properly, and feels Baekhyun’s smile.

“This is too late but I love you too, hyung.”

 

***

 

Chanyeol’s research is successful, and a day after the conference he received an email asking him to present his research in US.

They’re waiting for the subway to come, just arrived from the airport and they’re going back to the hospital.

“Hey, come with me. Please?” he says, shaking Baekhyun’s arm. “Go with me, go with me, go with me -”

Baekhyun glances at him. “Shut up. I’m not going with you. I have to finish my internship. And I don’t think Prof Lu will allow me.”

“How dare you talk back to your senior.”

“We’re not in the hospital, dumbo.”

In a span of two weeks, he finally got to know Baekhyun better. Sometimes he’s sweet, sometimes he spits sass, but Chanyeol likes everything about him. He’s fun to be with, they kept on playing on Haeundae beach, and the most memorable thing was when Baekhyun kissed him during sunset.

He pouts, childishly stomping on the tiles. But Baekhyun grasps his hand, linking their fingers.

“Come on, don’t be sad. It’s just a week and I’m sure you’ll be fine with Sehun.”

“I don’t want to think about it, I’m just missing you.”

“Cheeseball.” Baekhyun says, tugging him when the train finally arrives. It’s packed, but they can manage.

“Come here.” Chanyeol grips on the metal pole, and puts his arm around Baekhyun’s waist, pulling him closer. Baekhyun wraps his arm around him too, and he bites his bottom lip to keep himself from smiling too much.

Then something hits him. It’s like déjà vu, the black-haired boy who looks very tired -

“Hey, Baek, have we met before?”

Baekhyun looks up, furrowing his eyebrows. “Took you a long time, hyung?”

**Author's Note:**

> Mods' Notes: During the duration of BAE2016, we're kindly asking you to leave your reviews on [Livejournal](http://baeconandeggs.livejournal.com/30361.html). Thank you for reading!♥


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